Which is to say "Based on the factors that I think would make some stance insulting/offensive to some group, this insert topic fits enough of those standards for the group women in programming that I expect them to view it as offensive," (using the usage of expect meaning "I foresee", not "I demand").

Phrase policing tends to be a tactic to distract being that it is easy to find phrases in English that can be presented to mean something different.

Take the "I expected the car to be washed." It means something different when talking about visiting someone who loves washing their car and does so most every sunny day vs. buying a car and finding it dirty. It can easily be made to sound demanding even when there was no such intention.

Eh, sorry. I do basically agree with you.