Would you want government regulators to be nice to the industry people they are regulating because in the long run they benefit from having good relationship with industry leaders? Would you want hedge fund managers who's managing your money to be nice to banks, that is, overpay for services, because fees come out of your pocket while they can monetize the relationship in the future?
Umm, I think Fred was suggesting that we be nice to other people, not nice to abstract entities such as banks, or companies subject to government regulation. Also, the examples you cite would clearly fall under what Fred means when he says "I am not saying you should be overly generous or nice to a fault."
Would you want college admissions officers to be nice to their friends with college-bound kids?
Banks and other companies are not abstract entities to the people doing the negotiations; they are other negotiators and people like you. Being nice is a good way to improve relations with the other party, but this can often be short-sighted or even self-serving if you aren't taking into account the best interests of other people not present in negotiations; plenty of government representatives play nice with their donors to secure future campaign money, and/or ensure a cushy position with that company after leaving office, for example.
Abstract corporations are legal persons, but they are fictitious in the sense of relatinoship building. Relationships are only built with actual people, who may or may not have perfectly aligned interests with the legal entities they work for. This is both true in the instant (a VC might have more than one fund he invests from) and over a lifetime/career (that same VC migh work for various wholly distinct legal entities and /or transition between investing and operational roles. Similarly, governments and banks are run by people wearing multiple hats -- take alook at how many legal entities were inside of enron, lehmand, or one of the other TBTF entities just for some perspective. Other large corporations are likewise composites of various fiefdoms and P&Ls and are not at all aligned internally at the personal level.
edit: I didn't downvote you, but its just part of the picture that might expain something.
Umm, I think Fred was suggesting that we be nice to other people, not nice to abstract entities such as banks, or companies subject to government regulation. Also, the examples you cite would clearly fall under what Fred means when he says "I am not saying you should be overly generous or nice to a fault."
Would you want college admissions officers to be nice to their friends with college-bound kids?
That's not being "nice", that's favoritism.
EDIT: sentence added in first paragraph.