I mean, people suck. I suck, you suck, your mom, and your brother sucks. Not all the time. Sometimes I'm able to be nice and kind and generous, but dealing with people is just so much work that it's easier to just not, especially when there's so much other stuff out there to do these days.
So it's easier to stay at home and not invest time in socializing, leading to loneliness. it feels unnatural to force it after college and high school but you just have to put in the effort and
people just don't want to do that, absent some other motivation.
If there's a group project or something to bring people together, like an art piece, a float for a parade, or anything of that nature then there's space to connect and make friends. But one has to put in that effort and follow through, and without being paid to do it, in order to get to a point where you're not lonely and have friends. it helps if you're not a horrible person though.
Least relatable comment on the site. Almost every person I know and love is a big plus to my life. If I could, all my friends and family would live within minutes of me, and they have almost all expressed this to me about me as well.
but you're not lonely and thus aren't having the problem the article describes. I'm not lonely and sad and angry either,
though I can see how my previous comment could make it seem that way.
Outside of your happy circle of friends and family is this epidemic of loneliness that the article is reporting on, so it's not surprising that you can't relate if you're not having that problem. I'm trying to describe why we're apparently falling into this hole of loneliness and how to fight it.
The other thing is to look at your relationships. The game Diplomacy has caused the end of many relationships because it exposes the true person inside, who will lie and cheat and steal to win a board game. You should try it with your friends and family sometime. Are your friends complete human beings, or do they only have a good side? Some people live in a happy world where they don't and are friends with them, and other people have relationships to whole human beings that suck sometimes. They're also awesome sometimes, which is why we're friends, but I'd rather see the whole picture than think they're perfect, just like me.
I love my friends, and would love for them to all live down the street from me, (teleportation when?) but my other comment is coming from a place where they're also human, same as me.
I think the part I don't understand is why you think people suck. It doesn't seem like anyone sucks, actually, to me. And it seems that those who are lonely prefer human contact and are unable to have it rather than being released from sucky people. But perhaps the point is flying above my head.
I haven't played Diplomacy but I imagine the subterfuge and betrayal is similar to that in Neptune's Pride (a real-time game that occurs over a few weeks, I slept in 2h fits during that period while trying to keep my allegiances straight and took a friend to a pub and kept him occupied so he would fail an obligation he had to someone else). The cruelty and betrayal are part of the fun. And while it can get acrimonious in play, I can't see that lasting.
You've never been let down by anyone, ever? no one's ever been late to something or come up short somehow to you? it sucks when somebody isn't able to show up or meet you in some way like they said they will. maybe you're surrounded by people that have a superhuman amount of time and energy and don't ever let people down. but for the rest of us, the real deal is that people suck sometimes. yeah, they're awesome as fuck sometimes too, which is why we put up with them, but anyway, I think a point I want to make is that it's easier to be lonely and right, than it is to be wrong and surrounded by friends. but for the people that are lonely, people are out there, you gotta put in effort to connect with them. but go in with your eyes open that they're human, and they're going to let you down in some way, but that's okay, because that's part of being human, is knowing that about your friends and keeping them around anyway. well, some of them, at least.
I'm not lonely, but I have a friend or two that are, so I'm projecting a little, but I know those particular friends of mine well enough to say that's where they're coming from. I'm sure other people are lonely for other reasons, but I know people who are lonely for the reason I gave. Because there are 8 billion. people on this planet. it's hard to avoid interacting with someone, in some way, if you push yourself and go touch grass.
No. The people around me are not superhuman. They err and fail. As do I. It just doesn't seem like a big deal or a crucial part of our relationship.
But I think I understand now. You feel the same way as I do. You believe these foibles are part of humans. The part we differ on is the standards you hold for calling something sucky. I can accept behaviour down into the first sigma down from the mu and you probably consider only behaviour past the first sigma up from the mu acceptable.
As an example, if someone were late or couldn't make it at the last minute, it doesn't bother me. I'm going to just make a note to check with them a little earlier next time. And everyone I know has my location so that if I'm late they know what I'm up to. We just work around each other's mistakes. It works all right for me. I won't pretend I don't feel disappointed. It's just momentary and I find it hard to align my life around those transient feelings. Not out of enlightenment, just I don't really remember those feelings strongly.
being able to not feel those feelings strongly is enlightenment, I'd say. I feel those feelings strongly and then choose to keep going anyway in order to have friends and not be lonely. it's been a pleasure connecting with you and coming to understanding each other. be well.
So it's easier to stay at home and not invest time in socializing, leading to loneliness. it feels unnatural to force it after college and high school but you just have to put in the effort and people just don't want to do that, absent some other motivation.
If there's a group project or something to bring people together, like an art piece, a float for a parade, or anything of that nature then there's space to connect and make friends. But one has to put in that effort and follow through, and without being paid to do it, in order to get to a point where you're not lonely and have friends. it helps if you're not a horrible person though.