Well, my current project is good example: https://etke.cc

Try to apply AMP to it and see the difference...

Literally anything that doesn’t use JS and is CDN cached?

Do you have real world examples of that though? Nearly every real world news, facts, recipe, cooking blog, etc I can find loads huge amounts of JS.

Ex. Here's Snopes: https://www.webpagetest.org/result/210818_BiDcQB_f0db4233292...

For sure a static site is faster than AMP, but I'm pretty sure AMP is faster than most sites regular folks visit on a daily basis.

You’re using one right now.

For sure hacker news is pretty light weight, but it also seems they didn't feel any pressure to use AMP (and also have historically not cared about SEO).