> Honestly for the vast majority of births the father is unnecessary to be there after two weeks. The child spends the first month basically eating and sleeping. The father needs to be there to help the mother while she recovers.
So are you saying the father doesn't need to be there for the child after two weeks? Or are you saying he only needs to be there to help the mother after two weeks?
I've heard of some maternity leave policies that differ based on type of birth (longer time off for caesarean), and it would actually make sense to give fathers the same so that they can help the mother. Of course, you are absolutely right that some fathers take leave but don't spend it caring for wife/child. I'm not sure how to get around this problem, but it seems that we shouldn't throw out the baby with the bathwater, to use a terribl(y appropriate) turn of phrase. We just have to understand that some people will abuse the policy, but that overall there is a net benefit (to fathers, children, and mothers) to offering it.
That's great for you! Many babies cry a lot and make it difficult for one parent to care for them, shop for groceries, prepare food, etc. My friends and I have found that mothers who are nursing at all hours are generally too tired to do everything else around the house, especially if there are other kids.
Glad to hear there are some folks whose kids don't require as much care, but I'd say most moms would say that they are sleep-deprived and not fully functional for months after the baby is born. It might not take another full-time adult, as you say, but it sure is helpful to have the father around to take care of things and give the mother some respite.
This is hilariously out of touch. Shopping for groceries with an infant (or an infant + toddler) is a challenge for a single parent. It is absurd to say that you can shop for groceries at any time of day — you have to go when the kids are not napping (ever have two kids on different nap schedules?) or nursing, and then you have to manage getting them into and out of car seats, shopping carts, etc.
Your comments strike me as so out of touch that I wonder if you are simply trolling.
I think it depends on the kids. I have 4 kids under 6, and I've never had a problem shopping with any combination of them, especially as infants (although the most recent one, at 2 months old, has never been out due to COVID).
But I could definitely see it being a big problem if you happen to have kids who tend to cry in & around a shopping cart. I think it's just the luck of the draw.
I'm also not a single parent, although we always do the shopping trips solo.
Why would you need to shop for groceries any time?
If mother stays with a kid father can do all the shopping on the way home from the work. What's som complicated about that?
Also, in my country home delivery services are very popular with moms. You can indeed do grocery shopping any time. Now, during pandemic, those services are popular with everyone, of course.
Are you only reading the first few words of my sentences or something.
One parent is with the kids, the other goes shopping. Same for cooking. Both of these activities can be completed once the other parent comes back from work. Just because one person works does not mean they are completely unavailable to help in any way.
No, I've read your comments carefully. I even read them to my wife, who had a good laugh. This latest comment tries to reframe the grocery shopping bit to involve both parents, but this isn't what you originally said. You said a parent can go grocery shopping anytime, but now you're saying they can do it anytime after the other parent is home and watching the kids. That's a pretty big difference.
Also, after dad gets home, then it's time for dinner, bath, and bedtime. Mom could run off to the grocery at dinnertime, but most families try to have meals together so that's not a great option. And mom has to be home at bedtime, at least if she is nursing.
So are you saying the father doesn't need to be there for the child after two weeks? Or are you saying he only needs to be there to help the mother after two weeks?
I've heard of some maternity leave policies that differ based on type of birth (longer time off for caesarean), and it would actually make sense to give fathers the same so that they can help the mother. Of course, you are absolutely right that some fathers take leave but don't spend it caring for wife/child. I'm not sure how to get around this problem, but it seems that we shouldn't throw out the baby with the bathwater, to use a terribl(y appropriate) turn of phrase. We just have to understand that some people will abuse the policy, but that overall there is a net benefit (to fathers, children, and mothers) to offering it.