> it's important to know that it doesn't have to represent who you are
Maybe it's easy to confuse what I said with this, but I never said this. Equating your emotions with who you are is an act that you've done. It's a result of an action. But they already are two separate ideas with separate words. There is you, and there are your emotions. I am not able to equate them. There is me when I'm sad, me when I'm happy, me when I'm busy... I can become sad or busy if I know what triggers those states. But this must all be based on facts.
Same with your gut microbes example. Yes, emotions are caused by externalities, and that is precisely why they are facts. But thinking they are internal will have you fighting gut microbes with your mind. This is the dead end you want to avoid. You cannot accurately process the outcome of your gut microbes other than by accurately dealing with your gut microbes. Everything else is a workaround. They may still work in the end, but the most effective treatment will always be physically and accurately dealing with the physical cause of whatever effects we are looking to change.
"Processing emotions" is no different than dealing with facts. EMDR therapy is also a physical therapy. It treats emotions as facts, and deals with trauma factually. Whether it works is also a fact.
I mean, "be factual" is just another way of saying "stay scientific". There is nothing shortsighted about insisting on remaining scientific.
Perhaps the controversial part to me was your last two lines.
> If you hate your job, quit your job. Don't manage the hate.
> If you love someone, go for it. Don't manage your love.
These lines appear to contradict the idea in your reply, where we seem to agree that your emotions of hate or love should not be taken at face value. Instead, these two lines suggest you should give into your id, based on the "fact" that you've experienced those emotions.
They absolutely should be taken at face value - or factual value, rather.
Face value does not mandate mindless reaction. This is juvenile. I'm not saying "fuck it, quit your job". I'm saying, you should not think you can alter how you feel about your job, which - as a matter of hard fact - you hate. So many people spew excuses and find outlets and vent when all that is doing is spreading the hate. The hard truth is in your face the whole time - you hate your job. And instead of doing something about it, we often live with it and spread it.
Quitting or changing your job is a tough but legitimate option. Reality is far more manageable than changing how you feel with mind games or "therapy". This is trying to change something that has already happen, and which you cannot prevent from happening. YOU HATE YOUR JOB.
Given how you feel, do what is most intelligent. Do what is right. Listen to your emotions, but don't obey them. But don't think you can change them either. Don't even try to. This is the very act of fighting with yourself. You don't want arguing with yourself to be part of your life's strategic handbook.
I may have strayed a bit, but the point is, my emphasis is on "don't manage the hate". If quitting your job isn't an option, so be it. But do something real about your circumstances. Don't try and manage your emotions.
Fight facts with action and with facts that you create, and never with your imagination.
Maybe it's easy to confuse what I said with this, but I never said this. Equating your emotions with who you are is an act that you've done. It's a result of an action. But they already are two separate ideas with separate words. There is you, and there are your emotions. I am not able to equate them. There is me when I'm sad, me when I'm happy, me when I'm busy... I can become sad or busy if I know what triggers those states. But this must all be based on facts.
Same with your gut microbes example. Yes, emotions are caused by externalities, and that is precisely why they are facts. But thinking they are internal will have you fighting gut microbes with your mind. This is the dead end you want to avoid. You cannot accurately process the outcome of your gut microbes other than by accurately dealing with your gut microbes. Everything else is a workaround. They may still work in the end, but the most effective treatment will always be physically and accurately dealing with the physical cause of whatever effects we are looking to change.
"Processing emotions" is no different than dealing with facts. EMDR therapy is also a physical therapy. It treats emotions as facts, and deals with trauma factually. Whether it works is also a fact.
I mean, "be factual" is just another way of saying "stay scientific". There is nothing shortsighted about insisting on remaining scientific.
So what are you disagreeing with again?