> Most of the effectiveness of a therapist comes down to the "fit" between the two of you, so if you've gone to about three sessions or so and you're still not feeling it, it's encouraged and expected to try another one. Your current therapist may even refer you to another.
thank you. this is very helpful. you're the second person to mention this, and it's the sort of advice about treatment I may not have come by otherwise.
as it turns out, this is something I've been curious about (how / when to change, the etiquette of switching therapists, etc).
I don't have a lot of personal experience with that kind of situation of needing to "shop around", so I'm not sure I'm the best source of information for things like that. But if you do a bit of digging, you can find some links and information online:
Ultimately it does just come down to trusting your gut, and whether you feel comfortable with them and their approach. If you do choose to switch, your therapist should understand that things like this can and do happen, and shouldn't have a much of a problem with it. (If your therapist does have a problem with it, that's a huge red flag right there and you're better off ditching them.) Some of the better therapists may even make it clear near the beginning of your therapy that they can connect you with other resources or refer you to other places if that's necessary. But even if they don't you do have recourse to do that. Just keep trying, even if it means you have to go through a whole bunch of them to find one that's right for you.
thank you. that's kind of you to say, and very reassuring. I honestly felt really apprehensive and guilty / self centered / narcissistic for posting here.
> This is something with which many of us struggle on a regular basis.
> Don't self-medicate with alcohol, "drugs" (the non-prescription kind), promiscuity, video games, or other things that numb you. As the psych meds take hold, you'll be able to get up, but you'll be dragged back down as well.
poignant. I either have at one point or actively self medicate with all of the above.
> Be very conscious of suicidal ideas as you heal. The real danger point for depression-driven suicide isn't when things are so black you can't even get out of bed. It gets dangerous when you start feeling energetic again. Then you have enough energy to hurt yourself. Have a support group or friends who understand, and check in all the time.
this is valuable, thanks. I tend to be very private about anything concerning my mental health, but this makes me consider sharing it with a friend I trust who I can check in with.
> Consider getting a new job now. It might help you to have a fresh thing to care about, and getting fired from your existing job will only hurt you.
this is something I've considered very strongly. I'm a bit hesitant because I worry I'll fail to produce in my new position (if i don't take the time to heal), but it's definitely worth considering.
Please, make sure you have someone keeping an eye on you. I've lost friends to suicide, but never while they were really at the bottom... it was when they were on the way back up. It takes real attention to watch for that.
> The wrong medicine will dull your focus (I had a very bad sedative reaction to Lexapro) but the right ones will make you feel more normal. My work is the same as it was before, except I am happier now.
I'm really glad to hear that. It's surprisingly reassuring.
Out of curiosity, how long did it take you to decide Lexapro wasn't right for you?
You've gotten a lot of good advice here, and I just wanted to chime in on a related point to this--different anti-depressants may be more effective for you at different stages of your treatment. If you start on Lexapro/Prozac/Paxil, and it works great, but after six months you start to feel like it's not as effective, definitely talk to your doctor about looking at different meds, even other SSRI's. There are subtle differences in how they work that can make a difference (I'm not a doctor or bio guy, but they affect different receptors differently, even when they are primarily aimed at serotonin). Depression isn't a monolithic problem (it feels like it, but there can be multiple factors feeding into it), so as you do the talk therapy and the drugs your equilibrium between maladaptive cognitions, chemical imbalances, relationship and work patterns, etc. can shift, just be aware of how you're feeling (and if differently, how) and keep your doctor apprised. Also, therapy can be intimidating because you're talking about problems that feel insurmountable while you're depressed--but just spill it; they get less insurmountable once you've expressed them. Sometimes just hearing yourself say something out loud can make it obvious what the issue is, or how you could look at it differently.
Good luck, it's worth the effort. Something I read that I thought was useful to keep in mind when dealing with this stuff: you're not depressed because the world is shit; you think the world is shit because you're depressed.
Three days, and it was the introductory dose as well. I struggled to stay awake on Day 3 and couldn't recall things from my mind. It was bad. If you can avoid driving while figuring things out, that would be awesome.
I'm now taking Prozac which is way way better for me.
The important thing is that you have to keep trying at it; finding the right medicine and right dose will take time, but at least in my case (and it seems like others here too), there is a right formula. It's rough going for a while, but like I said before, I just feel more like the normal me, not like the angry, irritated, anxious me. And I have to believe that would have ended up a net positive productivity wise.
It's taken me a while to write back, because new HN accounts are severely rate limited.
The spirit of your post(s) is well taken. Also, I watched the shit out of the magic school bus (which is, at least, what "sometimes you have to get dirty. sometimes you have to make mistakes" reminded me of)
thank you very much. I found your post quite helpful. I definitely have experienced at points an existential crisis wrt programming. I do enjoy it, but it's been a while since I worked on something I truly cared about.
my therapist described me as having an "idealistic streak" and mentioned I might be happier if I were working on something that motivated me more than a paycheck. This is something I'll have to take into account as I look for a new position.
Thank you very much for sharing. I didn't downvote you (obviously). I actually have at many times in the last year (before things got... really bad) wished for a dog, but I live in a very uptight apartment complex that doesn't allow large pets.
> And you'll come to realize that, to your dog, you are literally everything. It really puts things into perspective. There really isn't much more to life than that, and I think there's a certain beauty to it.
thank you. this is very helpful. you're the second person to mention this, and it's the sort of advice about treatment I may not have come by otherwise.
as it turns out, this is something I've been curious about (how / when to change, the etiquette of switching therapists, etc).